I’m in limbo right now. I have left San Francisco, but I haven’t left for the big trip yet. This is the time frame that when people would ask “when do you leave?” would cause me to hesitate over my answer – “leave San Francisco or leave for the trip?” Often I would get the response: “both!”
So here I am at part 1 of 2 of that answer. I left San Francisco on Wednesday May 28, but I am still in the country till June 21.
It still hasn’t sunk in at all that I moved away from SF. I think part of it has to do with how hard it was to say goodbye to everyone and to the city that I grew to love so much. I haven’t thought about it enough to process it, and honestly I’m kind of avoiding thinking about it much because I’m a little worried about what will happen when I do finally process it (the reason this post is not about that, I’m not ready for that post yet).
The other part is that I feel like I’m just on vacation. Less than 24 hours after flying out I was already in a car on my way to my 5 year college reunion, which I just got back from late last night. There’s no better way to ignore the emotion that comes with moving out of SF than spending a long weekend pretending you’re in college again. And there’s no better way to recover from that kind of a weekend than not having to go to work after it – I slept for half of today.
Due to all of this – moving, goodbyes, reunion – I have a lot of posts I need to catch up on. I sat down to write about things like how I did on my SF bucket list, my travel insurance decision, and the pain of moving all of my stuff out and shipping it across the country. Instead I find myself writing this noncommittal post about how I am physically and mentally in between the realities of SF and my trip. I have a feeling these posts I mean to be writing will be usurped by more reflective posts about what it’s like to be unemployed and homeless, and beginning to spend all the money that I just spent 5 years saving.
So for now, I am just trying to recover from the craziness that was the month of May. For the next few weeks I’m spending my time with family in New Jersey and friends in New York City. The farewells will continue, just like the planning, and I’m still working on processing the fact that this adventure is beginning.
But that is the reality for me right now – this adventure is beginning.